Bong Fetus
A pair of guys decide to get creative with their bong water.
by Jerry Blaze
IT STARTED WHEN I went to a rave with my friend, Chaz. He and I decided to get high in the unisex restroom with the bong I had brought along. We had some primo bud and I wanted to be high while out in the crowd of idiots.
The sink wasn’t working and we didn’t have anything to fill the bong with, but an idea crossed my mind. Pushing open the stall door, I looked down at the porcelain toilet that had become many shades darker due to the shit smeared all over it. The toilet was covered in a plethora of stains that could have been feces, blood, or worse. I noticed black liquid in the bowl replete with diarrhea, semen, and a floating tampon that was loaded with someone’s period all over it. It was then that I realized we could do a bit of an experiment with the bong. They say feces can get you really high if you inhale it, and I wanted to get extra high.
Reaching down with my hand, I raised the toilet seat and filled the chamber of the bong with the lumpy water, exiting the stall and returning as quickly as possible to where Chaz stood.
After adding weed to the bowl and affixing my mouth over the top, I plugged the carb hole with my finger, lit the weed, and inhaled. The putrid water began to bubble up, sending the smoke of the marijuana laced in shit directly into my lungs. The gravy of feces, runny sperm, and old period blood that had fallen into the water along with the discarded tampon immediately forced my stomach to knot up. I cringed as I felt my stomach rumble in pain before I felt the rush of the cannabis hitting me.
I handed the bong to Chaz and released the smoke. I gagged, then coughed heavily.
Chaz took a massive bong rip. My glazed eyes focused on the liquid within when something caught my attention. I leaned in closer. The tiniest hand I’d ever seen emerged and pushed up against the glass. Looking up at Chaz, I noticed his face pale and he was on the verge of barfing on the floor. I weakly pointed to the bong.
“Dude, I think there’s a baby in there,” I said.
He held the bong closer to get a better look and saw the tiny hand among the floaters in the water. Chaz turned to face me, his cheeks swollen, alarm in his bloodshot eyes.
My own stomach gave way as I took the bong from him and hurled the triple-cheese dip I had eaten earlier into the toilet, adding to its contents. Tears of pain burnt my eyes as I shuddered. My nose was running and the residue of vomit dripped off my tongue as I raised the bong back to my mouth and lit up.
No use in wasting good weed.
After we left, I never saw much of Chaz. He didn’t want anything to do with me after what happened at the rave, but it didn’t matter. I took the bong home and put it on a shelf in the empty shed behind my house. It proved to be a neat little mausoleum for the fetus in the bong.
Sometimes, the fetus appears to me in my dreams and begs for a burial, but the high is too good to give it up.
While attending a rave, two friends sneak into the filthy restroom to get high. However, there’s just one problem. They don’t have any water in their bong. Acting fast, one of them decides to use water from a clogged toilet, curious if the diarrhea odors will add to the high. Soon, the pair discovers something else was in the toilet!
Jerry Blaze is a best-selling author of trash horror and bizarro. He is a lifelong fan of horror films from the seventies and eighties, as well as Italian Giallo and Euro-shlock. He lives and works in the Midwest (well, Oklahoma) and publishes consistently.